Articles - Laura Stannard Therapy

Biology, Choice, and Relationship Frustration: Rethinking the Narrative

4th February, 2026

This article explores common cultural narratives about biology, responsibility, and relationship dissatisfaction. It’s not about blame, but about agency, reflection, and choice. The Narrative We Keep Hearing About Relationships Lately I’ve been noticing a narrative that keeps popping up in conversations about relationships. It goes something like this: women are “hijacked by hormones,” overlook red… Read More

Why AuDHD People Fall in Love Fast — and Why That’s Not Always a Red Flag

3rd February, 2026

Why AuDHD People Falling in Love Fast Makes Dating Advice Feel So Wrong Dating advice often doesn’t work for neurodivergent people. “Take it slow,” “play it cool,” or “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” can feel confusing or even shaming when you’re AuDHD. That’s because these rules ignore what’s actually happening in an… Read More

The Terry Real Relationship Grid: How Self-Esteem and Boundaries Shape Our Relationships

19th January, 2026

The Relationship Grid, developed by Terry Real, is a powerful way of understanding why we show up in relationships the way we do — especially when things feel stuck, painful, or repetitive. At its core, the grid looks at two things that shape all relationships: self-esteem and boundaries. Self-esteem sits on a spectrum. At one… Read More

Thinking of Couples Therapy? Start Here

5th January, 2026

If you’re considering couples therapy, it can be hard to know what it actually involves or whether it’s the right step for you. Many people arrive with questions rather than certainty. In this article, I’ll explain what couples therapy is, how it can help, and what you might expect from the process. When couples therapy… Read More

Is Christmas Impacting Your Relationship?

2nd December, 2025

Why This Time of Year Hits Neurodivergent Couples Hard Every year, Christmas seems to arrive earlier. One minute it’s Halloween… the next it’s wall-to-wall Christmas music, flashing lights, and a Black Friday that now lasts an entire month. It’s a lot — for anyone — but especially for neurodivergent nervous systems. If you’re autistic, ADHD,… Read More

Neurodivergent Relationships: Why Going Off-Script Can Help

20th October, 2025

Practical ways ND couples can build connection without the standard script based Neurodivergent relationships rarely look the way we’re told they “should.” For many ND folks, mainstream scripts clash with sensory needs, energy patterns, and processing styles. Different nervous systems need different structures but what can this look like in practice? Below are a few… Read More

What is Relational Life Therapy?

16th October, 2025

Relational Life Therapy: A Direct, Compassionate Path to Better Relationships Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a practical, direct approach that helps couples move from blame and defensiveness to connection and repair. It blends attachment science, systemic thinking, and a feminist lens to build mature love: clarity, warmth, and shared responsibility. Key takeaways RLT names the… Read More

Male Depression and Relationships: How Patriarchy Silences Men and Erodes Intimacy

7th October, 2025

Male depression in relationships often appears as irritability, withdrawal, or fading intimacy—not just sadness. Patriarchy encourages emotional suppression, so healing starts by rebuilding safety, vulnerability, and connection together. Key takeaways Depression in men can look like distance, not tears; partners feel the gap. Patriarchal scripts trade connection for control, eroding intimacy over time. Emotional safety… Read More

Relationships in the Modern World

5th October, 2025

As the famous RuPaul once said: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” And he’s not wrong. But I’ve often found myself questioning the flip side of that statement — the way it gets interpreted as: you must love yourself before you can be loved by someone else…. Read More

Why Is My Sex Drive Low? Understanding Low Libido and Desire

27th September, 2025

“Why is my sex drive low?” is one of the most searched questions in the UK — and for good reason. Many people experience changes in their libido at different points in life. If you’re worried about low desire, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you. What Causes Low Sex… Read More

Everything Feels Great… So Why Can’t I Orgasm?

28th July, 2025

You’re enjoying sex. You’re turned on. You feel connected to your partner. Everything feels good—except you can’t orgasm. Every now and then you feel a glimmer, a spark of hope, it’s happening and then….poof it’s gone again. Maybe you can climax when you’re on your own, maybe you’re asking yourself what does an orgasm even… Read More

We’ve Stopped Having Sex: What Now?

22nd June, 2025

If you’ve found yourself saying, “We’ve stopped having sex,” you’re not alone. It’s a common experience for couples at any stage of a relationship — and it can feel confusing, painful, or even shameful. You might wonder, What happened to us? or Is something wrong with me? When we’ve stopped having sex, it’s easy to… Read More

You Don’t Have to Be in Crisis to Try Relationship Therapy

15th June, 2025

When people hear “relationship therapy,” they often picture couples on the brink—shouting, crying, making one last attempt to fix what feels broken. Therapy can carry a heavy sense of shame or secrecy. After all, don’t the best couples just figure it all out? The truth is—most of us were never taught how to communicate well,… Read More

Mixed Orientation Relationships: Queering the Norms

5th June, 2025

Autistic people are far more likely to identify outside of conventional sexual and gender norms than their non-autistic peers, and are more likely to live in mixed orientation relationships. These relationships often challenge mainstream assumptions about identity, intimacy, and belonging—both within the relationship and in the eyes of society. The cultural script for relationships is… Read More

Neurodivergent Relationships: How Therapy Can Help Mixed Neurotype Couples Thrive

7th May, 2025

Relationships are great — until communication starts to unravel. For many, that’s when couples therapy becomes essential. In relationship therapy, mismatched communication styles are often the root issue, even if they show up as problems with sex, commitment, or unmet needs. In mixed neurotype relationships, it can feel like you’re speaking different languages — not… Read More

What Does Love Feel Like?

10th April, 2025

What does love actually feel like for you? Our idea of love is often shaped by what we see in movies, TV shows, and songs — romantic, dramatic, heartbreaking, intense, and always aesthetically pleasing. We’re fed a lot of cultural messages about love, especially when we’re young. Some of the classics include: “Falling in love… Read More

Religious Trauma and Sexuality

11th February, 2025

Faith can be a powerful source of positivity in a person’s life. But when religion is rooted in fear—especially without room for flexible, nuanced thinking—it can become a source of trauma. In this blog, I’ll explore how religious trauma and sexuality intersect and shape our relationship with intimacy. What is Religious Trauma? Religious trauma is… Read More

The Myth of Spontaneous Sex: Why Desire Changes in Relationships

7th February, 2025

Many people in relationships tell me they want sex to feel natural and spontaneous again—something that just happens. But the truth is, when you really think about it, 100% spontaneous sex is a myth. It only felt that way in the beginning and think of the effort you were putting in back then! Early on,… Read More

Sex After Trauma: Go at Your Own Pace

30th October, 2024

Experiencing trauma can profoundly impact one’s relationship with sex and intimacy and sex after trauma might feel different that it once did. Trauma may heighten sensory sensitivities or impact how your body responds during sex or complicate the process of connecting with others on an intimate level. Sexual trauma can have profound impact on your… Read More

How an Autistic Sex Therapist Accommodates Clients

20th September, 2024

As an autistic sex therapist, I’ve learned that many services overlook the needs of the neurodivergent brain and therapy is no exception. Feeling calm and comfortable is essential for effective therapy and you may have unique sensory and cognitive needs that we need to consider. For that reason I continually seek new ways to adapt… Read More

Taylor Swift: A Window into Our Obsession with Relationships

11th September, 2024

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a Taylor Swift fan. Not buying Eras tour tickets is officially on my list of regrets. As with many public figures, at some point, the focus shifts from their talent to their private life—and this has been happening with Taylor Swift… big time. The Swift Effect: When… Read More

How to Get Rid of Erectile Dysfunction?

2nd August, 2024

Okay, I actually hate the title of this blog, but I discovered that ‘How to Get Rid of Erectile Dysfunction’ was one of the most googled sex questions from the last month. If you have found this blog through Googling this question, I want you to know that you can make peace with your erections…. Read More

ADHD and Relationships

17th June, 2024

Love is great and all that jazz, but sometimes ADHD can throw a wrench into even the strongest relationships. ADHD can manifest in various ways, and some symptoms can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations between partners. Let’s explore how ADHD and relationships can interact and what can be done to navigate these challenges. Common ADHD Symptoms… Read More

How Autism and ADHD Shape Sexuality

22nd May, 2024

Navigating sexuality is complex for everyone, and for Audhd individuals, it offers unique challenges and opportunities. While autism and ADHD might seem distinct, they often coexist, creating a unique blend of cognitive and behavioral traits that influence various aspects of life, including sexuality, sexual orientation, gender identity, and relationship structures. It can feel like our… Read More

How Important is Sex in a Relationship?

5th March, 2024

When it comes to a relationships there are numerous factors that contribute to the strength and longevity of a partnership and it’s not uncommon for people to put sex near the top of the list. But just how important is sex* in a relationship? Sexuality is a fundamental aspect of human nature, and when expressed… Read More

Unmasking Therapy: The Perks of Private Practice Sex Therapy

25th February, 2024

Embarking on a journey with a sex therapist can truly be a transformative experience, but let’s be real, choosing the right therapist and where to seek therapy takes some time and effort. With online therapy platforms popping up left and right, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and wonder, “Why should I choose a private practice… Read More

Navigating Autism: Honeymoon or Honeyhell?

14th February, 2024

The initial stages of new relationships are often hailed as the best time; heady, love-filled thoughts occupy your mind 24/7, and you’re in what’s known as the honeymoon phase. However, for autistic individuals, these moments can be overwhelming, confusing, and difficult to enjoy and it’s possible that autistic relationships will diverge from the typical template…. Read More

How many dates should you go on before having sex?

8th February, 2024

How many dates should you go on before having sex? We seem to be a species that’s obsessed with numbers, timing and made up rules. In the world of modern dating, the question of how many dates one should go on before having sex is often a topic of internal and external debate. I recognise… Read More

Unmasking Sexuality: Am I Gay?

4th February, 2024

‘We are living in a heteronormative world, and I am a heteronormative girl’ or so the song didn’t go. When it comes to defining our sexual orientation many of us will default to our society’s pre-programming of assuming we’re heterosexual. So it can feel anything but fun when we get even a tiny flicker of… Read More

Navigating ADHD: Sex and Shame

2nd February, 2024

ADHD isn’t just a diagnosis; it profoundly impacts daily life, influencing attention, impulse control, and executive function. For those with ADHD, its effects extend into every aspect of life, shaping how you eat, sleep, and have sex. Sex and shame often go hand in hand but for this with ADHD the shame can be excruciating… Read More

Unmasking Therapy: My Therapist Pissed Me Off

30th January, 2024

Therapy is a journey of self-discovery and growth, but it’s not always a smooth ride. There are moments when your therapist might say or do something that leaves you feeling upset, angry, or downright pissed off. It’s an uncomfortable but entirely normal part of the therapeutic process and can surprisingly be an opportunity for growth…. Read More

Opening A Relationship: Five Tips from A Sex Therapist

24th January, 2024

Embarking on the journey of opening a relationship can be a significant decision for any relationship. Here are some things to consider before flinging the door open (extra tip- don’t fling. Insert key then open): Reflect on Motivations Why, why now, why not? Before you load up Feeld -pause and consider the motivations behind opening… Read More

Navigating Autism: Autistic sex and relationships

21st January, 2024

Every autistic person is unique, experiencing the world in their own distinct way. From my perspective, autistic relationships and autistic sex can exhibit differences in how they look, feel, and function compared to neurotypical relationships. This often necessitates the adaptation or complete reworking of traditional relationship therapy tools. If you are autistic it can be… Read More

Navigating ADHD: How Can ADHD Impact Sex

18th January, 2024

ADHD, in its diverse forms, has a profound influence on a persons life. If you are wondering how ADHD impacts sex. Or wondering can a relationship survive ADHD. Read on for how ADHD can show up in out intimate lives: Distraction During Intimacy: Mind on Overdrive Staying present during intimate moments can be a tightrope… Read More

Unmasking Relationships: The Myth of ‘The One’

7th January, 2024

As a sex therapist I often find myself unraveling the threads of romantic ideals and challenging the notion of ‘The One.’ My journey with clients often involves peeling back the layers of relationship myths and exploring the diverse narratives that shape our understanding of love. Relationships are complex and the myth of ‘The One” muddies… Read More

Unmasking Therapy: What is Sex Therapy?

3rd January, 2024

What is sex therapy? If you’re curious about sex therapy and how it sets itself apart from other therapeutic approaches? Your quest for answers ends here! Why Sex Therapy Rocks? Sex therapists share common ground with other therapists but additionally bring expertise in sexual function, relationships, and various facets of sexuality. Whether you’re seeking solutions… Read More

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