Laura Stannard Therapy
Sex & relationship therapy for neurodivergent adults
Low libido

Why Is My Sex Drive Low? Understanding Low Libido and Desire

27th September, 2025

“Why is my sex drive low?” is one of the most searched questions in the UK — and for good reason. Many people experience changes in their libido at different points in life. If you’re worried about low desire, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you.

What Causes Low Sex Drive?

Low libido can be influenced by a mix of physical, emotional, and relational factors. Some of the most common include:

  • Stress and tiredness – everyday pressures, burnout, or poor sleep, late stage capitalism (truly!)- it’s important to remember low desire isn’t always our fault.

  • Hormones and health – changes during perimenopause or menopause, postpartum, or medical conditions.

  • Medication side effects – such as antidepressants or contraceptives.

  • Mental health – anxiety, depression, or past trauma can impact desire.

  • Relationships – unresolved conflict, lack of communication, or feeling disconnected.

For neurodivergent people, sensory overwhelm or difficulty switching off from a busy mind can also play a role.

Myths About Libido

A low sex drive doesn’t make you broken. In fact organic low libido is actually not very common. Desire isn’t supposed to look the same for everyone, and it doesn’t have to be spontaneous. For many, desire is responsive — it builds with connection, safety, and the right conditions. It can be useful to understand what our conditions are- this can help us to recognise when desire is present.

What Can Help

  • Be curious about your body and mind instead of judging yourself.

  • Check in with lifestyle factors: sleep, stress, and wellbeing.

  • Talk openly with your partner (if you have one).

  • Seek support if you’re feeling stuck — a sex therapist or GP can help.

Want support with this?

If this blog resonated with you, I offer free consultation where we can explore what’s bringing you here and whether working together feels like a good fit.

I also create a range of resources on sexual wellbeing, including both free and paid options, designed to be accessible, supportive and inclusive.

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You’re welcome to take what’s useful and leave the rest.