My Story

Neurodivergent Psychosexual Therapist | COSRT-accredited | Level 7 Diploma in Clinical Sexology

I was the first person in my family to go to university. For a long time, I followed a fairly conventional idea of what a successful life was supposed to look like.

I built a career in university operations, working for some of the world’s leading universities. I loved the pace and variety. I enjoyed being around interesting people. I was good at solving problems, making things happen and keeping lots of moving parts together. But eventually, something wasn’t quite right.

I had spent years being good at what I did. I hadn’t always stopped to ask whether it was the life I actually wanted. Burnout eventually forced me to think about that more seriously. I started questioning what I wanted from work. I thought about what mattered to me and where I wanted to put my energy. That eventually led me into therapy.

It wasn’t a straight line. There were wrong turns, changes of direction and plenty of figuring things out along the way. Each step taught me something about myself. It also taught me how much pressure we can put on ourselves to follow a path that doesn’t really fit.

Discovering Neurodivergence

During my years of training and personal therapy, I discovered that I am autistic and have ADHD.

That was a pretty significant moment in my life. Suddenly, a lot of things that had felt confusing began to make sense. I started to understand myself differently. I also began to see my experiences with work, relationships, sensory information and overwhelm through a neurodivergent lens. It changed the way I think about sex and relationships too.

I became increasingly interested in what can sit underneath sexual and relationship difficulties. This includes sensory differences, communication, masking, overwhelm and nervous system regulation. It also includes the expectations we absorb about how relationships and sex are “supposed” to work.

This is a big part of why I now work with neurodivergent individuals and couples. I know what it is like to spend years wondering why something that seems straightforward for other people doesn’t feel quite so straightforward for you.

Finding What Works for You

I’ve never been particularly good at fitting myself into neat boxes. My career hasn’t followed a conventional path, and neither has my life. I think that’s one of the reasons I care so much about helping people work out what actually works for them.

You don’t have to make yourself fit somebody else’s idea of how a life, relationship or sex life should look. There isn’t one right way to be a person. There isn’t one right way to have a relationship. And there certainly isn’t one right way to have sex.

My job isn’t to tell you what your life should look like. It’s to help you understand yourself, your relationships and what you want. From there, you can make choices that feel right for you.

Does This Sound Like You?

Perhaps you’ve spent a lot of your life trying to work out what you’re supposed to be doing.

Maybe relationships don’t always seem to follow the rules you’ve been given. Perhaps sex, intimacy or desire feels more complicated than you expected. You might be trying to understand yourself after discovering you’re autistic or have ADHD, or wondering how your neurodivergence affects your relationships.

You may have spent years adapting, masking or trying to keep up with what seems to come naturally to other people.

Therapy can be a space to stop doing that for a while.

You don’t need to arrive knowing exactly what’s wrong or have everything neatly figured out. We can start where you are and work out together what is going on, what you need and what you want to be different.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re welcome to book free 20-minute consultation to see whether working together feels like a good fit.

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