Month: February 2024

Embarking on a journey with a sex therapist can truly be a transformative experience, but let’s be real, choosing the right therapist and where to seek therapy takes some time and effort. With online therapy platforms popping up left and right, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and wonder, “Why should I choose a private practice over an online platform?”

Well, for me, opting for a professional in private practice has its own set of unique advantages. Let’s dive into a few of the perks that I, personally, see in seeking a private practice therapist:

Personalised Attention

Online therapy platforms offer accessibility, but there’s something special about the personalised touch you get from private practice sex therapy. With smaller caseloads, private practice therapists can really tailor the therapy to your individual needs and often have more time to reflect between sessions and put more time and energy into tailoring the therapy to suit you.

Cost Considerations

It’s no secret that seeing a therapist in private practice might come with a higher price tag. Therapy in any sense is a privilege many don’t have access to. Recognising the financial privilege involved in therapy, many private practice therapists, offer low-cost sessions or affordable resources which can provide some relief and inside information. We can also point you to other affordable services that match your budget. Check out my contact page for an excellent low-cost option!

Client Autonomy

Client autonomy is a big deal. You should have the power to choose when to start and end sessions, no questions asked. It’s all about empowering you to take control of your therapy journey. With me, sessions are open-ended, and you’re free to hit the brakes whenever you feel ready. I’ll never pressure you into committing to a certain number of sessions—unless, of course, that’s what you want—and you only pay for the sessions you actually have.

In my humble opinion and obviously biased opinion, opting for private practice sex therapy over online platforms offers a more personalised approach. But the most important thing is finding an ethical therapist that you feel comfortable with. That’s the real key to successful therapy.

If you’d like to find out if we’re a good match you can book a free 15 minute consultation with me here

The initial stages of new relationships are often hailed as the best time; heady, love-filled thoughts occupy your mind 24/7, and you’re in what’s known as the honeymoon phase. However, for autistic individuals, these moments can be overwhelming, confusing, and difficult to enjoy and it’s possible that autistic relationships will diverge from the typical template.

For those blessed with innate intuition, the early days of a new relationship are characterized by excitement, shared discovery, and a deepening emotional connection. However, for autistic individuals, these moments can be overwhelming, confusing, and difficult to enjoy.

What may seem like a subtle cue to most can become an insurmountable puzzle for someone on the spectrum. The challenge intensifies during the initial stages, where the pressure to decode social signals is at its peak. Social cues become cryptic; when do we kiss? Should we kiss? Who is going to pay? It quickly becomes a social cue shitshow.

Unpredictability reaches peak levels as the dates continue to happen—will this continue? Will they text me back? Are you BF and GF yet? It’s a minefield of uncertainty, and navigating it isn’t pleasant.

Autistic individuals often prefer and rely on literal language, and they may ask directly if there’s something they want or need to know. However, in these early stages, there’s often pressure to play it cool, play hard to get (yikes!), or simply go with the flow. This way of operating doesn’t really fly for neurodivergent people; you could say we like to cut to the chase.

If you find yourself navigating the twists and turns of a new relationship with autism in the mix, know that you’re not alone. It’s tough! If you’re riding out honeymoon hell, reach out, and we can chat some more.

How many dates should you go on before having sex? We seem to be a species that’s obsessed with numbers, timing and made up rules. In the world of modern dating, the question of how many dates one should go on before having sex is often a topic of internal and external debate.

I recognise it’s potentially idealistic to neaten this up but hey I want to try. Navigating a new human alongside yourself is messy business but perhaps reframing the issue will help you to reach your magic number. Rather than adhering to societal norms or arbitrary rules about when to have sex with someone maybe we should be questioning why we’re feeling the pressure? And whose rulebook are we playing by?

The reality is is that everyone is different and the pace at which a relationship progresses will vary based on personal comfort levels and emotional connection. While some may feel a strong connection after a few dates, others might prefer a more gradual approach, allowing trust and understanding to flourish over time. Ultimately, the journey toward physical intimacy is a personal one, and there is no universal playbook despite what society tells us.

Self awareness is key to developing confidence in yourself and your decisions. If you’re feeling the pressure sex therapy can help you find your answers to the questions above so you can tune in, stay as safe as you can and feel confident in your decision.

Book a free call with me today and we can chat some more.

‘We are living in a heteronormative world, and I am a heteronormative girl’ or so the song didn’t go. When it comes to defining our sexual orientation many of us will default to our society’s pre-programming of assuming we’re heterosexual. So it can feel anything but fun when we get even a tiny flicker of interest or attraction to someone we weren’t expecting and then the questions begin…Am I gay? Bi? Pansexual? I don’t even know what that means?!

In pre-Google times, this meant often hours or years anxiously pondering, wondering and searching for signs. Thankfully, now we have Google, which takes you immediately to the WikiHow ‘Am I gay’ quiz—hurray! End of blog.

Wouldn’t that be nice? Or would it? Even if you saw the words in black and white, you may still feel as confused as ever about your sexual orientation. So maybe it’s time to ask yourself a different question. Perhaps, why does it matter? Or what difference would it make to my life if I were confident in my sexuality?

‘Sexuality is a multifaceted spectrum and may change over the course of a day, month or lifetime’

The truth is there is often no right answer to arrive at, and your sexuality journey will be lifelong and as unique as you are. Sexuality is a multifaceted spectrum and may change over the course of a day, month or lifetime. In a world that often seeks to categorise within the constraints of heteronormativity, unmasking your sexuality is a courageous act of self-discovery and of self-love.

Sex therapy can help you embrace the uncertainty, celebrate the diversity within your desires, and take pride in your sexual identity. If you’re looking to explore your sexuality you can book a free call with me here. I’m ready and waiting to listen.

ADHD isn’t just a diagnosis; it profoundly impacts daily life, influencing attention, impulse control, and executive function. For those with ADHD, its effects extend into every aspect of life, shaping how you eat, sleep, and have sex. Sex and shame often go hand in hand but for this with ADHD the shame can be excruciating Below are a few ways in which ADHD and sex intersect:

 Impulsivity

The impulsivity inherent in ADHD can significantly impact decision-making about sex. Individuals with ADHD may act on impulses without considering potential consequences, leading to risky sexual behaviours such as unprotected sex or engaging in sexual activity under the influence of alcohol and drugs.

Dopamine Diving

Faced with a lack of dopamine, many people with ADHD engage in behaviours that stimulate it. Dopamine-seeking behaviours, such as masturbating or watching pornography, may be particularly appealing to individuals with ADHD. Due to cultural sensitivities and lack of sex eduction many people have a moral conflict around these things so what can feel essential at the time leads to a shameful come down.

Risky Business

Studies have shown that those with ADHD have more sexual partners, higher rates of masturbation, and an increased likelihood of sexually transmitted diseases. People with ADHD often seek novel and stimulating experiences. They may be more drawn to activities that provide a high level of excitement or newness, even if they involve an element of risk- such as affairs or BDSM practices they’re not really comfortable with.

Late-diagnosed ADHD individuals may find themselves reevaluating their entire sexual history. This revelation can be overwhelming, bringing both relief and potential compounding of shame for different individuals. The recognition of the impact of impulsivity on decision-making and addressing sex and shame are crucial steps towards building healthier and more fulfilling sex life.

Sex Therapy can help you navigate ADHD, sex and shame