We’ve Stopped Having Sex: What Now?

22nd June, 2025

If you’ve found yourself saying, “We’ve stopped having sex,” you’re not alone. It’s a common experience for couples at any stage of a relationship — and it can feel confusing, painful, or even shameful. You might wonder, What happened to us? or Is something wrong with me? When we’ve stopped having sex, it’s easy to fear the worst. But often, there’s more to the story — and support is available.

Our sex life has disappeared- Why Does Sex Stop?

Sex can stop for many reasons. Sometimes it’s physical — pain during sex, changes in libido, or medical conditions. A recent autism or ADHD diagnosis can call your sexuality into questions. Other times, deeper emotional or relational issues are at play: resentment, disconnection, stress, or misaligned needs.

At the start of a relationship, desire can mask these underlying tensions. But once the early intensity fades, you may notice that something feels off. When we’ve stopped having sex, it often reflects a need for deeper connection or understanding — not failure.

You’re Not Broken — and Your Relationship Isn’t Either

Saying we’ve stopped having sex can carry shame, but it’s a meaningful signal — not a dead end. You are not broken, and neither is your relationship. Many couples go through this and come out stronger.

How Sex Therapy Can Help

Sex therapy gives you space to explore what’s happening. As a psychosexual therapist, I help couples understand the “why” behind the disconnect — whether it’s neurodivergence, emotional strain, sexual dysfunction, or past trauma. Together, we find new ways to rebuild intimacy and desire.

Want support with this?

If this blog resonated with you, I offer free consultation where we can explore what’s bringing you here and whether working together feels like a good fit.

I also create a range of resources on sexual wellbeing, including both free and paid options, designed to be accessible, supportive and inclusive.

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You’re welcome to take what’s useful and leave the rest.