Sex After Trauma: Go at Your Own Pace

30th October, 2024

Experiencing trauma can profoundly impact one’s relationship with sex and intimacy and sex after trauma might feel different that it once did. Trauma may heighten sensory sensitivities or impact how your body responds during sex or complicate the process of connecting with others on an intimate level. Sexual trauma can have profound impact on your life but it possible to rediscover intimacy, move at a pace that suits you, and find pleasure in your body and relationships again.

What Does Sexual Trauma Look Like

Trauma responses can look and feel different for everyone. What we do know is that trauma is stored in the body; it may exist as a memory, but it often reveals itself through your reactions, behaviours, and responses. This stored trauma can trigger the body’s autonomic nervous system, creating patterns of hyperarousal or dissociation that impact a person’s emotional and physical well-being long after the traumatic event has passed. It might show up as avoidance from sex,  sexual dysfunction, intrusive memories or difficult focusing during sex.

Understanding how trauma affects sensory experiences and comfort levels can be essential step to healing. Therapy—especially neurodivergent-friendly, trauma-informed, or sex therapy—can offer a supportive space to explore how trauma has shaped your relationship with intimacy and help you address complex emotions. There’s no need to go into detail or re-tell what happened if you don’t want to. A trauma-informed therapist can guide you through the healing process at a pace that feels right for you.

Steps To Healing 

Trauma can make physical sensations, certain types of touch, or even specific words feel overwhelming, particularly when combined with sensory sensitivities. Taking small, controlled steps toward comfort and communicating openly with a supportive partner can be empowering tools in rebuilding trust and confidence.

Reconnecting with your body might also include adapting self-care practices to fit your unique needs. Mindfulness techniques or somatic practices, such as gentle breathing exercises or sensory grounding, can help rebuild a sense of safety and autonomy. Spending time reconnecting with your body and understanding your body within the context of safety and pleasure is a key aspect to healing from trauma.

A short blog doesn’t do justice to the breadth and depth the impact trauma has on someones life. Just remember, it’s okay to ask for support when you feel ready and to take as much time as you need. The journey to healthy intimacy after trauma is not linear, but with compassion, self-acceptance, and the right resources, it’s possible to find connection, joy, and confidence again in your own way.

If you feel you need help with sexual trauma please reach out for a chat to see how I can help.