Navigating Autism: Honeymoon or Honeyhell?

14th February, 2024

The initial stages of new relationships are often hailed as the best time; heady, love-filled thoughts occupy your mind 24/7, and you’re in what’s known as the honeymoon phase. However, for autistic individuals, these moments can be overwhelming, confusing, and difficult to enjoy and it’s possible that autistic relationships will diverge from the typical template.

For those blessed with innate intuition, the early days of a new relationship are characterized by excitement, shared discovery, and a deepening emotional connection. However, for autistic individuals, these moments can be overwhelming, confusing, and difficult to enjoy.

What may seem like a subtle cue to most can become an insurmountable puzzle for someone on the spectrum. The challenge intensifies during the initial stages, where the pressure to decode social signals is at its peak. Social cues become cryptic; when do we kiss? Should we kiss? Who is going to pay? It quickly becomes a social cue shitshow.

Unpredictability reaches peak levels as the dates continue to happen—will this continue? Will they text me back? Are you BF and GF yet? It’s a minefield of uncertainty, and navigating it isn’t pleasant.

Autistic individuals often prefer and rely on literal language, and they may ask directly if there’s something they want or need to know. However, in these early stages, there’s often pressure to play it cool, play hard to get (yikes!), or simply go with the flow. This way of operating doesn’t really fly for neurodivergent people; you could say we like to cut to the chase.

If you find yourself navigating the twists and turns of a new relationship with autism in the mix, know that you’re not alone. It’s tough! If you’re riding out honeymoon hell, reach out, and we can chat some more.