Embarking on the journey of opening a relationship can be a significant decision for any relationship. Here are some things to consider before flinging the door open (extra tip- don’t fling. Insert key then open):
Reflect on Motivations
Why, why now, why not? Before you load up Feeld -pause and consider the motivations behind opening up your relationship. Whether it’s a desire for variety, a sense of exploration, or a specific unmet need, understanding your “why” is crucial. This clarity will help you know where to begin and where you want to go.
Establish Boundaries
It’s no buzzword here- Clearly defining boundaries is essential. Establish rules that all partners are comfortable with, covering areas from emotional connections and sexual activities to communication and time commitments. This includes the people you are inviting in (V important!). Recognise that emotions and boundaries may evolve, staying open to redefining them as needed.
Educate Yourselves
Knowledge is power so the saying goes- read, listen, watch from the people who have gone before you. Dive into learning about various forms of non-monogamy and equip yourselves with the tools to navigate potential challenges. The more you know, the more confidence you can have in structuring your relationship in a way that suits you.
Consent and Agreement
Consent should be the beating heart of all relationships and all parties involved. Ensure that every person involved fully understands and consents to the arrangement. Consensual non-monogamy thrives on trust and understanding, making communication and agreement the wind in your sails. Informed consent includes taking responsibility for your sexual health and informing everyone involved- monogamy isn’t a STI free guarantee so get tested on the reg.
Take It Slow
It’s wise to start with a gentle approach and also- what’s the rush? Take small, gradual steps in opening up your relationship, allowing both partners time to adjust and communicate about their experiences.
Every relationship is a unique journey, with what works for one possibly differing for another. Assertive communication, consent, and respect are your guiding principles. These are often tough conversations to have – a sex and relationship therapist can help.
Book a call with me today if the time is right.
